June 2025 – By Emily Dunn
In the first two articles, we set a foundation. We learned what emotional regulation is. We also established the most empowering truth: it is a skill you can master.
Now, we move from theory to practice. This article answers the question, “How?”. For many high-achievers, it is easy to get stuck in your thoughts or find yourself “talking in circles”. This guide gives you a clear, structured path to move from thinking about change to actively practicing it.
These are not quick fixes. They are foundational practices. When used consistently, they will help you build the self-leadership and inner calm you are seeking.
Emotional Regulation Series:
You cannot manage an emotion you do not notice. The first and most important step is to build your awareness. For many, anxious thoughts and feelings are so constant that they become background noise. You may struggle to “notice, slow down, or reroute” them in the moment. The goal here is to start noticing these feelings as they arise, without any judgment.
A Practical Exercise:
Set a simple alarm on your phone for three random times during the day. When the alarm sounds, pause. Ask yourself one simple question: “What am I feeling right now?”. Just notice the answer. That is all. This practice alone begins to build the muscle of awareness.
Once you notice a feeling, give it a name. This is a powerful technique. When you can label an emotion, you create a small amount of space between you and the feeling. It stops being an overwhelming state you are lost in. It becomes an experience you can observe.
For example, you can say to yourself, “This is anxiety,” or “I am noticing frustration.” This simple act of labeling has been shown to lower the intensity of emotions. It shifts activity in your brain from the reactive, emotional parts to the more logical, thinking parts. It helps lift the feeling of being “heavy and unhappy”.
Your next impulse might be to judge yourself for feeling a certain way. This is the part of you that is quick to “beat myself up”. We must gently choose a different path. Instead of criticism, we will choose curiosity. This aligns with the principle of “going gently”.
Ask simple, open questions about the feeling.
This practice encourages a constructive inner dialogue. It moves you away from just venting or blaming, and toward a place of responsibility and understanding.
After you have noticed, named, and understood your emotion, you are at a point of power. You can now choose how to respond, instead of just reacting. This is how you move from feeling “flustered” to feeling “empowered”.
Your conscious response could be one of many things.
The goal is to make a conscious choice, no matter how small. Each choice reinforces the fact that “you are in control here”.
This journey is about building new habits, one step at a time. It is a process of facilitating “beautiful change”. In our next article, we will discuss how a mindset coach can help guide and accelerate this process.
Emily Dunn
Leamington Spa
T: 07479 024800
E: emily@empoweredmindset.co.uk
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